Challenge: To stay connected

Over the course of the show, I realized that I tended to go off by myself when I felt hurt or angry. It happened early on with the fire episode, throughout with my effort to get food or dive for shells, right after the second switch of tribe members, and in the end when we were down to three players and I felt betrayed.

This is something I have done all my life. I isolate myself, toughen, and go it alone — especially when I go into overdrive mode. Until Survivor: Marquesas, this had always seemed like strength.

On the island, everything I knew got turned inside out. It began with me showing my feelings. Walls came down. I started to feel and express myself openly. I needed to learn about myself and the people around me to survive.

It shouldn’t take a television show to learn that we should be connected with the people around us. But I learned in a really powerful way that it’s the connection — not extreme self-reliance — that gives strength. The tribes and the island were a microcosm. Our lives are all about connection.

Key message: Reconnect rather than isolate when you are in overdrive and struggling to get by

The Next Challenge: To forgive after betrayal

Evolving and making changes is part of The Real Foundation's five-step process.