Challenge: To accept the perspectives of others

There were no mirrors on the island. For thirty-nine days, I saw myself only through the emotional responses of my tribemates. During the first few days, I didn’t like who I saw. I knew I was being pushy, even bitchy.

I learned pretty quickly to reexamine my behavior and adjust, both to survive and get along in the group. Yes, it was messy and humbling, but it was constructive, too. The reactions of my tribemates helped me open up to myself and my emotions.

Even when I saw myself on television — hours and hours of footage edited, spliced, and condensed into an hour program — I couldn’t believe who I was. “I looked like that?” I thought. “I sounded like that?” There was no escaping this self unfolding before my eyes.

In hindsight, I see that I was growing. The producers were able to develop my character on the show because of this growth. “You’ll probably be the most loved player,” they told me.

People certainly have responded to me off-screen. Women especially come up to me all the time and tell me their stories. This is really the beginning. You have to trust others to be a mirror and help you become more self-aware.

Key message: Open your eyes to yourself and others

The Next Challenge: Your Body

Changing your surroundings is part of The Real Foundation's five-step process.